my life's SUCKS. now everything's gone. i have no more chance. in the first place i didn't even have one. which is like unfair, when i was more into it then you. but they choose you. why? only left two more positions that i always dream of. i dont want them to be taken away. cause the first one is already gone. i'm gonna work hard no matter what and achieve it, i dont care. i'm gonna do what it takes.

today was okay. I ate, slacked, played games, went through papers, chatted, run/walk around the school. played scissors, paper, stone game with chua-ster, lim-ster, bung-ster, sim-ster. i dont know why i'm damn pissed off today in school. i keeping making de 'TSK TSK' sound and pull a long face. whats wrong with me?

had a briefing about combined sports camp. need pay 40 bucks for it. haihai. its like 10x then cost of sjab drug talk, which i dont have to go. haihai. stayed back after school. cheered for sec3 the game thingy with nougat, sotong and petrina. we run here and there, move wherever we want to. play de scissors, paper, stone game. muahahha. its so FUN. play till my hand and leg is like now, lots of purple dots. like blue black.

then bus-ed back with them. sat with sotong first, but then move to beside nougat. petrina and sotong sit alone. me and nougat in the bus sleeping. nougat was tired so she sleep. i got nothing better to do and i was tired. so i fell asleep. i every stop wake up. hai. then i walked home damn damn slowly sia. i took 35 mins to walk home when the walking distance isn't really that long. i was tired and my leg was aching. made it home in time.

i put up a strong front when i'm with you people. but the truth is, deep deep down inside, i'm actually emo-ing, sad, pissed off and feel like killing myself. i don't want you people to worry over me, cause i know you people have other better things to worry about. i dont want you people wasting your precious time over me. there's nothing much you people can do to cheer me up. unless you people can think of something to solve the problem and i'm not being called a ------- anymore. i will love your to the bits. but seriously, there's nothing you can do. can i just die now? i dont have the will and i cant find a reason to live anymore.

aye, dont feel like blogging le. i have no mood for anything again. i'ma gonna stop here.

counting down 1o more days to birthday.
27.

Labels: there's no way, when there isn't a will